HarryTheHorse - Angeles City Expat Newsletter for December 2006

The Limited Edition has gone through quite a few changes over the past year. The upstairs portion has been changed around a couple of times and then was closed for "renovation" but last month had its "grand" reopening with hardly any breathtaking changes other than a new floor. The owner, Bill, was still absent and rumors have it that it might be a while before he returns. His wife, Maria, was very much in charge and was willing to announce to a few people that "no problem, I've got everything to include the bar and house" so it appears that Bill does not have to worry since Maria has the bull by the horns and can carry on quite well in his temporary absence. The opening was well attended but one attendee told me that he felt there appeared to be an atmosphere of tension in the room. Anyway, the dancers were your normal mixture of average ladies and some "cultural dancers" put a bit of extra effort into developing an entertaining presentation. Ah, a new floor was put in but the overall impression is that the closure was indeed mainly to kind of change things around staff wise.

DNA TESTING

Someone wrote me asking if there was a place in Angeles City that could give DNA tests. I called Ona Hospital's director Doctor Canlas and was informed that the only establishment performing this procedure is St. Lukes Hospital in Manila. St. Lukes was contacted and the following information was sent to the person who wrote me:

From: Dr. Raymundo W. Lo
Subject: Re: DNA test

Good day. Yes we are conducting DNA testing for parentage at our laboratory(Institute of Pathology-Cellular Immunology & immunogenetics Section) but on an appointment basis. We do it by using STR (short tandem repeats) DNA method. If I may ask, what's the purpose of you wanting to have DNA test? Is it for immigration or as a legal requirement (court case) or just peace of mind of the alleged father? I 'm asking because of the requirements that you have to submit to us prior to testing. If your purpose is for immigration abroad ( US, Canada & Australia) you need to call our extension clinic at Ermita , Manila at Tel.# 5210020 or 5218647 and for legal or peace of mind purposes, you need to call us first here at St. Luke's 723-01-01 loc. 4106 for an appointment. You can look for me, Jason,Jec, Tonette or Edwin. With regards to the price, it is P19,656.00 per person so if you want to test for the alleged father, mother and the child it's P58,968.00 plus P1,000.00 consultation fee. ( Please note that the hospital will increase 5% to 10% of the price by January 1 2007, if you decide to schedule the appointment on January 13, 2007) The results will be release after 2-3 weeks . Please note that we treat our results as highly confidential. Please note also that the ideal testing should be alleged father, Mother and the child. Physical presence, proof of identification and signing of consent form are also mandatory. It will depend on the pathologist in-charge during your consultation if he agrees to allow your case to conduct the testing for Alleged father and child only. If the pathologist in charge agrees to do Alleged father and child testing, and the mother is not available during the testing, please bring a NOTARIZED AFFIDAVIT OF CONSENT from the mother.
I provided this information because it is pretty common in this area for a visitor or resident to kind of accidentally contribute to the general population. Many of the ladies that develop this bit of a bulge in their stomachs work in a profession that could bring doubt as to who the sperm contributor actually is. But, when they inform the hapless guilty male, believe me, they are positive of the date, time, and location of the momentous moment when that speeding sperm entered into that egg making process. For some reason, not all males are convinced that they are the biological fathers to be, possibly because of the nature of the business their amorous lass was or remains engaged in. So, for those who are not sure, and have the money and time, this information is provided for your benefit. If you don't have the time or the money, well, hee, hee, Happy Father's Day!

LORNA PARAS TIES THE KNOT

It was a very happy evening for long time popular Orchid Inn employee Lorna Paras on Nov 24th as she married Jomel Solis. The garden wedding ceremony took place at the Batis Asul Resort. Lorna has worked the reservation desk at the Orchid for years and she is one of those employees that any hotel would kill to hire. She graces the desk with class and a dignity worthy of any five star hotel and the attendance of the Wakley brothers, Ron and Kevin as principal sponsors indicated how proud they are of Lorna. Right along side of Ron and Kevin was their right hand man, John (Shanno) Shanahan and I must say they all looked like family in their matching outfits. A few other folks I recognized were Tony Tissington, Louie Tan, Brgy Capt. Thelmo Lalic and of course Priscilla the Horse. Now, I was kind of carry along baggage to this wedding because it was my Mrs. that was invited as a principal sponsor and she was not going to let me stay at home. She ordered a special gown for the event and I must say she looked pretty good in it. I really did not know who was being married and did not pay attention until halfway through the event when I finally focused my bad eyes on the bride and thought she looked familiar. Then a bolt of lightning hit my mini-brain and I recognized that it was Lorna, the charming, beautiful lady that pays me for the Orchid Inn ad each month. Now the event had a bit more

meaning to me and I put down the book I was reading and decided to take a couple more pictures. Yes, I read a book or sleep during local weddings because after attending so many of them over 25 years I find the long drawn out ceremony a bit tedious so I usually find a spot in the back of the church where I can read and kind of doze off a bit as well. Naturally I try to avoid being a principal sponsor of these events because I have to sit and be attentive but even then I can't help but fall asleep. Anyway, the Batis Asul Resort is a wonderful place to have a wedding if you are so inclined and they have the whole routine down pat, so well organized but after three times there I can nearly run the program myself. Lorna looked beautiful and I am pleased to let you know that she will return to work on 10 Dec and hopefully stay with the Orchid Group for many more years, taking off only, maybe, for two or three maternity leaves.

HAPPY 13TH ANNIVERSARY

The Angeles City Roadhouse Club has become a teenager! Yep, 13 years under the leadership of Mark Smith and his able right hand, Girlie and still going strong. I was able to stop by after the Miss Earth Swimsuit contest at Fontana and snap the annual picture of this dynamic duo. As usual there was plenty of food, booze, raffle prizes, bell rings and just plain fun as many of the regulars were on hand to share the night. This Horse, for the first time, won a small raffle prize and the surprised the hell out of me. You see, a raffle ticket was presented for every drink you bought and I think 50 were given for every bell ring. I only bought three drinks, one for me, Doc Canlas and Mark himself. Needless to say my chances of getting anything was very slim. When Mark started the raffle there was a guy sitting near me, surrounded by around five or six dancers that looked like he was going to win the whole lot. I have no idea how many drinks he bought but it had to be a hell of a lot as by the time I left his corner looked like a department store. It was fun to watch the girls screaming with delight every time their number was called. I was in shock when I won one prize and regardless of how small it was, just winning was a treat. The highlight of the evening though was when Beth, from Champagne Group rang the bell and as many of you know, the dancers have to come off stage and give the bell ringer a kiss. I teased Beth that she would have to receive the kisses and I could get a picture of that. But, when the ladies approached Beth, Rolf, her partner directed them to me to receive the kisses. Now that was something I always looked forward to but this old Horse could never afford to ring that bell, so Rolf, thanks for the memory. Mark, Girlie, many thanks to you for another Road House year and I hope I am still around for the next one.

ENTERTAINMENT AREA OPEN TO TRAFFIC

The "no traffic" rule on Fields Ave and the rest of the entertainment zone was abolished with the removal of the anti-terror barricades and the Regional Mobile Group (RMG) teams manning them last month. This was welcome news as I can assure you, despite the necessity of the action to install the barricades, it was not well received by the community and the lack of specific orders or explanation led to mounting unrest by the City Council and the local population. During the period of closure there have been many self-appointed experts that put out many theories and opinions of why the streets were barricaded and they were not interested in the official statements coming from the Mayor. Even though many of them were way off base the fact remains that many questions were unanswered but, for sure, at the time of the no-notice implementation there was a perceived threat to the entertainment area and it was decided to act with increased security rather than do nothing. The problem was that the barricades stayed up so long with no timetable to lift them. A special committee of ACTA members met, at the Mayor's direction to make recommendations of how to lessen the impact and make adjustments. The committee which included representatives from the Balibago Barangay Council, and the Tricycle associations did not want to adjust, they wanted the barricades lifted. The committee recommended the implementation of the one way system that had already been approved just prior to the closure be implemented. The Mayor took this recommendation into account and after clearing it with officials in Manila approved the lifting of the barricades and the implementation of the one way system. Even though the one-way system was allowed the Mayor was told to continue with vigilant security procedures with the TAP and the PNP working together to facilitate this security. The bottom line is that the Mayor wants all tourists and residents to feel secure when visiting the entertainment area. Folks, you would be surprised to find out how much of that burden falls on the shoulders of the Tourist Auxiliary Police. Regretfully, some of the voluntary financial support that was being contributed each month by some of the Clubs/Hotels on Fields Ave has been stopped or dramatically reduced. Some folks felt it necessary to blame the Tourist Police for the street closures or did not like it when they had to enforce rules imposed by the Mayor. A few Expats enjoyed throwing their weight around and verbally abused the Tourist Police or tried to use their positions as managers/owners to talk their way through barriers. Believe me, neither the ACTA or the Tourist Police enjoyed the closure situation, nor, really, did the Mayor but we had to follow instructions. Even now, with the one-way system implemented to try and ease traffic congestion on Fields Ave and allow better security, there are many individuals that fight the system and refuse to cooperate. Once again, it is left to the Tourist Police for enforcement, despite the promise of the City Director to lend assistance and help enforce the rules. Enforcement is necessary for the one-way system to succeed but the cooperation of the City Mayor, the Balibago Barangay Council, the PNP and the City Director is needed. The ACTA is an organization made up of more than one or two individuals and the overall positive actions it has achieved should be considered and what it continues to do every month to help make the entertainment area successful. Personal differences with some individuals should be moved aside and concentrate on the overall objectives that bring us together. Remember, elections will be forthcoming in April and new folks could be elected to the Trustee Board, but only attendance at the monthly meetings can accomplish any changes. OK, I digress a bit here so lets get back to the main subject.

The one way system appears to be working and the traffic congestion on Fields Ave has been reduced dramatically. But, the Angeles City Syndrome pops up in that enforcement of traffic rules is hard to accomplish. There is still some fine tuning to be worked on, especially in the no-parking areas and the removal of the vendor carts. The new City Director has agreed to cooperate and provide assistance in the assignment of a traffic enforcer to the Tourist Police office but this has not materialized yet. The Tricycle Associations have agreed to cooperate but you better believe that this takes continuous dialogue to accomplish. Needless to say, the one way system is a continuing work in progress and more enforcement is needed and the Tourist Police in cooperation with members of the Angeles City Tourist Association (ACTA) are monitoring this closely. It ain't easy baby, believe me, it damn sure ain't easy!

MISS EARTH CONTESTANTS

As promised I am saving the best for last, a few more pictures of the Miss Earth 2006 contestants. There were 99 of them and I am still looking for Miss Thailand. Why? Because I spent five years there and loved every minute of it but them that was way back in 1966 to 1972 when I spent time in Ubon, NKP and three great years in Bangkok. Believe me, it was one hell of a great place to be back then and it was in Bangkok that "Harry the Horse" was born when I was the editor of the "BANCOOM" magazine and developed the gossip column. I was also the MC for the floor shows at the Windsor Hotel. I have many fond memories of Thailand and most of them centered around the women there and of course, the great food. So, I did want to try out a few of the Thai words I remember if I would have found Miss Earth Thailand. Regretfully, it was not to be but hope you enjoy the few pictures I managed to take.