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Tidbits
Unless there is a drastic change in the girls attitudes... ie... no more runners, no more cell phones, no more begging for tips, no more i don't know how or wont give b/j's... I will be spending my vacations elsewhere. Thanks for your time David James, San Diego, Ca (David, appreciate your Emil to me but I think you might have missed a few points in my column last month. The continuous complaints about prices, runners , cell phones, begging for tips, etc. has been noted and the Club owners are aware of these problems. But, lets be fair, are the prices that unreasonable? Cell phones - do away with them, hey, never happen! Begging for tips, hell, let them beg, if they perform as contracted for, a tip may be appropriate, if not, just like in a restaurant, poor service is not rewarded. If you have specific complaints while visiting, see the ex-pat managers or the owner of the Club, do not waste your time with the Mamasan. It is true that you can spend your vacation elsewhere but do you really want to??
This was sent to me last month and I could not resist including it in my column. It is a very appropriate suggested "Living Will". I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business too If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell. Include signature and have witness sign! I was talking to an energetic lad named "Joe" who told me that he was going to open a Fish and Chip shop on Perimeter Road in the building that used to house McGowan's Meat Shop. The anticipated opening will be sometime in July. Joe wanted one and all to know that this will be the real thing in that he will use only "flat fish", whatever that means and will stress quality. He will also set up a delivery service featuring an actual oven rather than just putting it in a carry box; that should be interesting to see! You know folks, I have to tell you that I think the Hidden Vale Sports Club, with its new management team of Smith and Pineda is on the way to operating in the black. I managed to visit this Club a number of times in April and I am seeing a marked increase in patronage and overhearing many favorable comments about the improvements, especially in service and quality of food. Yes, there are still those that feel the prices for food are a bit high, but when you consider the member's 15% discount, it is a bit easier on the wallet. Anyway, prices of food and drink are always a topic of heated debate in this town. Before I leave that subject, I strongly recommend the Tuna salad that Chris prepares. I don't like fish but the way he prepares that Tuna is fantastic, what a great taste. Personally, I don't mind if the cost of visiting Hidden Vale (soon to be renamed the "Angeles Country Club) has become a bit more expensive if it means the Club will remain open and accessible to present and new members. In the future plans are being made to allow conversion of shares to "Proprietary Shares". Members will have the option of keeping their "non-proprietary shares or purchasing the new offerings. These are future plans and decision time is still a bit off in the future. Hopefully, management will let me know well in advance when these actions will take place so I can pass it on to the readers of this column. Angeles City will grow and it appears that Hidden Vale will grow right along with it. Now, that IS good news! The new North Luzon Expressway (NLEX) is certainly an improvement over what it used to be and even though the cost to travel it has risen dramatically it is certainly a more relaxing, faster driver than before. But, that nice smooth road invites one to put the foot to the pedal and see how far you can stretch that speedometer which is a great feeling except for one thing - THE CAMERA! I just found out that a friend of mine was given a ticket for speeding that would have cost him a bundle and a suspension of his driving license for three months as well as having to attend a driving seminar. It seems that the speed limit is 100 clicks and if you exceed that they have a camera system installed that catches you in the act of speeding and they are able to pull you over when you get to Balintawak and zap you with penalties. There is no way to offer a bribe either since it is recorded on film. I was told that they are on the overpasses using radar guns as well. Shit, 100 K's a mile is only 60 mph and that is nothing so I will look closely when I drive to the VA clinic in Manila in a couple of days (28 Apr) to see if that is the actual speed limit. The C'lassic Italian Restaurant has a new summer daze menu available with more of Chef Chris' offerings with a main course costing only P595.00. Last month I ate there with friends and the menu items we sampled were absolutely amazing in presentation and flavor. I never remember the fancy names that Chris uses and he wants to kill me when he spouts out some long winded names and I tell him you mean "noodles with sauce" or "chocolate pudding" for his chocolate panna cotta. Check it out! You have to check out Rodman & Robinson's Soul Food Restaurant on Fields Ave, just past the Tourist Police Office. I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail except to tell you that the food is terrific, plentiful and reasonable in price. I did not take any pictures because they are in the process of extending the eatery to separate the bar from the restaurant. Jackie and Pilay are great hosts and take a personal interest in each customer. I had the BBQ Platter with chicken, ribs, hot links, potato salad and, yum, yum, corn bread, two cokes at a cost less than P500. I was stuffed, so much so that despite trying hard to do so, I was not able to finish everything on my plate. They have other platter selections to choose from and my compliments to the cook, it was a very enjoyable, stomach filling evening. Check it out! After spending five years in Thailand part of my heart will always have a soft spot for that country and the many wonderful memories it provided me. I last saw Pattaya in 1972 and I realize there is no comparison from then to now as it has changed so much. Now, many debate as to the better place for expats to live, Thailand or the Philippines, specifically, Pattaya versus Angeles City. I will not go down that road as I love both locations but I will point out one major benefit of Angeles City and that is the Government run Health Clinic for the female entertainers in which weekly medical check-ups are required. I was told that this does not exist in Thailand, that any medical checks are accomplished by private doctors. A visitor from Thailand with health service experience told me that one out of every three ladies in the entertainment business in Pattaya have some form of disease. OK, don't jump on me for specifics as I readily admit that I did not research this. In fact I was quite surprised to hear this but I was told of a Frenchman who is a leading aids specialist, operating a small private clinic geared to treat aids and this individual felt that his efforts were too late as the spread of the disease was well out of hand. The person who relayed this information was visiting Angeles City and was impressed with the efforts undertaken here to control the spread of communicable diseases; so much so that he is looking for a suitable location to build a new City Health Clinic. It is too early to provide any details at this time as the first step is to locate and acquire a suitable site. It is very difficult to get specific information from the Orchid Inn management team about the plans for A. Santos Street but so I must listen to overheard conversations and try to guess what may happen. It appears that, for sure, the image of this street will change dramatically. How much so, I am trying to find out. Initially I thought that only one side of the street would be affected, but now I am not sure. Hopefully I will have some specific information by next month after I have a few interviews with the Orchid Inn Management team but for now, I just keep taking pictures of what may be part of the passing history of Fields Ave. The Duke of York and Black Pearl have already acquired alternate locations in anticipating of having to relocate. Now, there is one well known person in town that has said he and his "connected" friends will save the present occupants of "Blow Road" but as usual, no one really believes this man of many stories. Personally, I am looking forward to traversing an upgraded A. Santos Street that will be well lit, clean and a lot safer than it is now, especially late at night. I have heard that the owner of Emotions is building rooms on the second floor. Like so many Club owners before him, the lure of room rental income is overpowering. The bad luck Silver Bullet bar is closing once again. Maybe, if someone else decides to open a Club there it might be wise to change the name. There was nothing wrong with this Club other than an awkward location but the interior was great, staff friendly and it was mostly a hang-out for the Expats living in the Hensonville area. Lets see what comes along next. I had my NOKIA cell phone stolen last week and once again, I forgot to write down all the numbers in my address book. Recently, when talking to some police acquaintances they told me that I should have recorded the serial number so I could report it stolen and they would arrange to have the phone deactivated so it could not be used. To obtain the serial number dial *#92702689# then turn the phone off then on again. This is for NOKIA phones only. Word of advice - record all your numbers as well. I stopped by Mo's place for a quick bite on a Sunday evening, found a seat as far away from the live band as I could and ordered the Thai fried rice. I made a serious mistake though, I chose the large order instead of the small portion. It arrived and one look told me I was in trouble, it was one hell of a big portion. I managed to eat a quarter of it and took the rest home. Now, it was tasty but it was far from being an authentic Thai style flavor. I can't put my finger on what was missing but the cook needs to work on his recipe a bit more. Please do not consider this a complaint, as it was not bad, just take it as an observation from one that loves real Thai fried rice. One thing for sure though, you get a hell of a lot for your money. If I eat there on a weekend night again I will try sitting at the bar on the second floor and then maybe the music volume will be tolerable. Yeah Mo, I know, I'm too old for this modern noise, just give me Lawrence Welk, oops, that's too old, how about Harry Connick? OK, I'm going to put on my 101 strings and go to bed. While eating my fried rice I noticed that Bananitas Club was closed and that a week earlier, on a Saturday night around 11 PM the staff exited the Club, the lights were turned off and the place locked up. Not sure of the reason, I heard two stories, one that the owners of the Silk Stocking were going to join up with the Bananitas and connect the two locations; the second story was more dramatic but I do not believe it so will not repeat it here unless I am able to verify it. Suffice to say that it is closed and no doubt there will be some changes when it reopens. On Saturday, 4 Jun, from 1400 hrs 'til late is the 3rd Anniversary of American Steel Motorcycle Club in the Philippines so that means BBQ time at the Hole-in-the-Wall. Jerry, owner of Cherry's Club on Perimeter Road is looking for someone to buy him out. He is not going out of his way to advertise but Jerry says he is tired of the bar business and would like to get back to serving food. He is waiting for someone to make him an offer he can't refuse.
Bars in the Wednesday pool league have raised their local drink prices to P40 and no doubt the other leagues will follow suit as soon as their respective leagues finish out the season. This increase was inevitable because of the higher cost of electricity, liquor, etc.
The Magic Moment Club finally opened after suffering delays with getting their electricity turned on and having to deal with some City Officials that required a bit of incentive to give them the go-a-head to operate. I have not had the opportunity to visit yet but will give it a look see this month. They will have two pool teams and the lads that are managing the place are personable and easy to get along with. It should do OK. LASIK and LASEK corrective eye surgery in the United States is expensive but I have had friends here receive successful treatment at a more reasonable cost with technology equal to that in the States. I have attended a couple of lectures from the International Eye Center (IEC) located on the 2nd level Robinson's Starmills, San Fernando, Pampanga and I would certainly recommend anyone considering this type of eye treatment to schedule an examination internationaleyecenter@yahoo.com - 63 045 875 2009). This is another benefit of visiting the Philippines, eye treatment here can save you hundreds of dollars from what you would pay in the US or Australia and it is easier to get appointments. Combine this with dental work as well and your whole trip will be justified. Imagine, when all those people criticize you about only coming to the Philippines for sex, you stand up, act indignant, and state loudly, "excuse me, I go there for my eyes and teeth", then smile and show them all those nicely capped teeth! Be careful though not to drop your bag of condoms and sex aids.
T-TIMES OPENS IT DOORS
ANOTHER TOURIST OF THE MONTH MY BAR MISS ORCHID INN I hear Priscilla the Horse calling me to do some shopping with her so I better jump on my horseshoes and get moving before she beats me with her tail. Hmmm, that might be fun! If you did not make it to AC in April then you missed one hell of a hot month, not only entertainment wise but temperature wise as well. It was extremely hot and dry, followed by, once again, our yearly water shortage. There were a couple of showers but it did not help much. This month should continue to be hot and dry but if we are lucky, a bit of relief will show up in June. Meanwhile it is tank top time for this old horse and lots of water, while it lasts. Remember, be kind to horses, buy me lots of beer as I am doing my part to conserve water. |
A tourist named Shane, working with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept was introduced to the Fire Stone Empire on A. Santos St. last month. His buddy told me that he worked on this for some time, to get Shane drunk and then drop him at the Fire Stone when he was in such a state that he did not realize that the "girls" were not girls at all. Anyway, he succeeded in getting Shane there and then left him alone there and observed from across the street. He kept expecting Shane to come yelling across the street, raising hell. This did not happen as Shane was having a good ole time just talking and buying drinks. His buddy gave up and went to his hotel but then around 03:00 started to feel guilty and went to fetch Shane. About that time Shane realized that something just wasn't quite right and sought out his 
mate. It was a good laugh but I wonder if Shane has some kind of plan to get even. By the way, while here they both got new tattoos and Shane's friend, Lucky, is proud of his Gecko. It was a pleasure to meet "Lucky", coming all the way from the Sheriff's department in Los Angeles, so much so that I am naming him MY TOURIST OF THE MONTH . This month only, that title goes along with a one month visit to the Jack LaLaine, "Get in Shape" reducing salon free of charge. Believe me, anyone who can spend over 20 years as a cop in Los Angeles deserves a fun filled, relaxing vacation followed by one month in a gym. Lucky was nursing a new tattoo that the well known tattoo man "Jun" put on his leg a couple of days earlier. Jun's shop is located at the Checkpoint and Lucky was amazed to find out that Jun was the lad that put his first tattoo on way back in 1999 when Jun was working out of Ermita, Manila. Lucky had no complaints about his stay here and his favorite Club was the Voodoo but he also gave high marks (believe it or not) to the Welcome Inn.
The owner's name is Kevin and he hails from North Carolina, the State with good moonshine and wild drivers. This Club has been closed for quite some time and the old timers will remember it as the "Good Times" run by a lad that loved to play pool, Stacy. Kevin has teamed up with a lad named Ray and together they have created a rather interesting little fun place to visit. For sure there are plenty of ladies and some are so enticing that I am featuring three of them as my "I would if I could" ladies. No, I am not getting greedy nor is Viagra having that much effect on my libido, it is just that, well, they damn well looked pretty good to me. Anyway, I am not sure if Kevin has sold the pool table yet but he was offering it up for P25,000 as it was just taking up too much room. Kevin is working on some ideas like offering an arrangement where one can relax in a private room and avail of a shower with hot and cold water, catch a nap in a nice bed and feel like a VIP. For those wanting to use the VIP room it will set you back P900 but for those of you too tired to stand it should be worth the cost. The ladies are friendly and the rule of the day for the costumes is T-backs and no bras which seems like a good policy to me. When I visited Kevin was still supervising some construction and an addition will be the Jimmy Buffet VIP room but that will be another story when it is finished. 
Enough about Kevin and the bar - now I have to tell you about two dynamic dancing ladies that can capture and hold your attention for many minutes. They are sisters, Rowena, 29 and Judylynn, 18 and being a dirty old man, I immediately thought, "wow - all night togetherness" but alas, they nixed that idea and emph
atically stated that this is a sister act that goes solo! Oh well, they are from Samar and JudyLynn, the youngest is still a cherry girl. Dream on Fellas!! Now, in the same club I spotted May, 23, years old, from Mindanao and I could not resist the temptation to select another "I would if I could" lady, especially since her name is "May" and this is my May column. Weak excuse, but what the hell, they all looked so good. No doubt the "T" in the name of this Club must stand for "Temptation" and I certainly put this way up on my list for a good barhopping stop. You'll be happy to know that local drinks are only P45, and overnight tour guides are only P1,000. They are open from 1200 to 0200 so it is a good place to cool off in on these hot afternoons.
SCOTT IS OUT OF HERE - Quite often the personality of a Club is reflected by the manager and it is not all that easy to find an all around guy that is dedicated, hard working and loyal to the owner. Scott was one of those managers who helped to make Mo's place an enjoyable location to visit. Mo has been lucky, prior to Scott, Dennis was the man to see but he got burned out after a long run and thean Scott came on board. How lucky can you get Mo? Scott decided he was going to go live in the Province and seek a quieter way of life in General Santos City. He will be missed by many, but Mo got lucky again, he found a replacement by name of Peter who appears to be quite capable of carrying on the tradition professionalism set by those before him. Good luck Scott. 
THE ORANGE LION HOTEL 
I never feature two tourists of the month at the same time, so why did I do it this time? Simple, he had a very good looking companion with him and I really wanted her picture. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get her to smile but she looked good anyway. Seriously, I met Mark Tynan at the Orchid Inn during their Miss Orchid Inn Contest and he was so friendly that I had to include his picture (Actually, he bought me two drinks and I forgot that I already had a tourist of the month). Mark is visiting here from Papua New Guinea (PNG) and works as a branch manager for Boroko Motors Ltd. there. Mark is a frequent visitor to Angeles City and his favorite drinking spot is the Sir Lancelot Club. Sounds like a good choice to me. What surprised me is that Mark indicated that he enjoys PNG and that there are some good times to be had and that there are some good looking ladies there. Good looking ladies in PNG, first time I heard that and that is not the story I usually hear from the lads that have worked there. Wait a minute, over the years a hell of a lot of Australians have worked in PNG, could we now be seeing the results of some intimate togetherness? 
Janne (Finland) and May (Pangasinan) have teamed up together to open "My Bar" at the Checkpoint, in the same building that is home for the 12/30 pizza (Domino's before). This establishment has gone through a few changes in the last few years so it will be interesting to see if good luck smiles on the owners this time around. One improvement is that the owners are friendly, energetic and optimistic and very eager to please. What should help is that more and more Clubs are opening along Perimeter road as well as more hotels and rooms for rent.
promotion beer prices will cost only P60 for two until 15 May. I have included a few pictures of the ladies that are available to entertain you when you visit "My Bar" and I even threw in a picture of manager Gary and his young lady at no extra charge. Gary has suffered a few ups and downs while in Angeles City but has landed on his feet and is working his butt off to help Janne and May build up a successful business. Oh yes, Gary sent me a text telling me that they feature a sexy show every Friday night and also provide a free pick-up from the customers hotel.
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