Louis' designs

The building housing the Iron Works gym is available to any interested investor.  An existing 15 year lease, with a monthly P10,000 rent can be taken over as the present lessee, Louis Morgante has full rights of transfer.  Louis will not be getting out of the gym business as he will be franchising facilities in many populated cities that can support a physical fitness oriented business.  Mr. Morgante would like to devote more time to his other interest, which is designing, creating and selling furniture with a conceptual design.  The designs he has created can be called "business gym furniture" and they are quite unique as they incorporate a gym theme and are ideal for offices and bars looking for that "something different" design.  For further information contact Louis at the gym, 045-893-0298 or his cell phone, 0917-7365711.

Entrance	Interior

STANDING TALL

Bob stands tall

A year ago Bob Zaher went to a hospital in Thailand for an executive physical and was given a clean bill of health; the exam included a prostrate examination.  Six months later, he returned for a follow-up exam and found that he had prostrate problems and needed surgery.  He returned to the Philippines and was thinking of returning to the States for this procedure but after consultations at Cyber Care Health Clinic (Friendship) he checked out the facilities at St. Lukes Hospital, Manila.  Shortly thereafter, he underwent an operation that took six hours to complete and during his recovery period had to wear "the bag".  Today, three months after this ordeal, he is rid of the bag and standing tall, physically fit once again.  The reason I have taken the time to relate this experience to you is to get the attention of the many male readers of this column that have passed the 50-year mark.  Bob has a bit of advice for you - "GET THOSE YEARLY PROSTRATE/COLON EXAMS - IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!"   Lately I have heard of many friends of mine that have suffered prostrate complications so in Feb I had my PSA test, finger wave and a colonoscopy test and thankfully, all tests were negative.  Will I do it again next year - you bet!  (Note:  Doctor indicated I could wait three years before undergoing colonoscopy again).

The drama continues

SULLIVAN VERSUS CYBER CARE

The drama continues as on 4 Feb Cyber Care folks added another banner announcing "this building is under litigation".  So far, no shooting or fights but once there was a bit of a shouting match.  It is not my place to say who is right or wrong as in most legal issues, both sides think they are right.  On 9 Feb Mr. Sullivan wrote a long dissertation for the Go2Phil message board presenting his side of this very sensitive conflict.  It was well written and the key message was "it is nearing Feb 15^th, almost one month after Mr. Labayog (cybercare Inc.) tried to forcibly evict me from the Galleon Building, he has not been able to enforce his new lease, take over the property nor erect his fence (to keep me out) because his new lease is illegal until proven otherwise by the court."  That is where the parties involved are now folks, in court presenting both sides and each side, of course, insisting they are right.  Is there room for compromise?  Boy, that would be like asking Saddam if he would be willing to shake hands with George Bush!  We can only sit back and wait for the courts to settle this matter, which could take a bit of time as Mr. Sullivan has written "the building WILL now remain an eyesore and WILL remain in court for many, many years to come, or at least as long as I can humanly keep it there.  No one will win, Mr. Labayog will not get his hospital on this prime site, Mr. Laperial will not get any rent and I will not recoup my investment.  Stalemate!"   As the court proceedings continue I will try and give updates and hopefully, someday in the distant future this will all be settled and either Mr. Sullivan or Mr. Labayog will be able to develop the property in question.  Meanwhile, the only folks who are happy are the security guards and their bosses whom are the only ones making any money out of this and they won't mind if it takes years to be settled.   

The Sunday editions of the Philippine newspapers were awash with the news about the American defense officials announcing in Washington that US special operations troops would soon join Philippine forces in combat operations.  Boy, you talk about ammunition for a dramatic increase in anti-American demonstrations in Manila and here in Angeles City as the main entrance to Clark is a favorite gathering place for all types of protests.  This is a complete turn-a-round in policy from previous "exercises" in which it is emphasized that Americans are in a non-combat mode.  Already Sen. Aquiliano Pimentel is accusing Defense Secretary Angelo Reyes of treason so you can imagine what kind of rhetoric will be forthcoming in the next few days.  I won't be here to follow this but I suspect that there will be a backing off on the American side.  Lets see, maybe war in Iraq, maybe some conflict in Korea, maybe some action in the Philippines and for sure, continued conflict in Afghanistan, meanwhile, our U.S. borders remain an open sore point allowing thousands of illegal aliens to cross into America daily.  I wonder, if after America solves all of the World's problems we will take a closer look at our own homeland security?   Kind of makes the CyberCare/Sullivan conflict seem quite small in comparison.

On the site that once housed the Shanghai restaurant now sits the brand new Gloria Maris Chinese restaurant which opened its doors to the public on 24 Jan and has been enjoying large patronage since that date.  Mrs. Horse and I were planning to eat there before I left for the States but time just slipped by too quickly so it will have to wait until I return. 

Nice decor	Busy boss
Friendly staff

VALENTINES DAY

This year it was no problem for me to find some nice roses for Mrs. Horse as I had to go to Manila on 13 Feb and was able to find some beauties for a reasonable price but then the big decision was where to eat on that special day itself.  I considered the Oasis, Four Seasons, Cottage Kitchen, Orchid Inn, Stampede, VFW, Hidden Vale, Fortune Hong Kong Restaurant, Gloria Maris and even Margarita Station but all these locations constantly talked about getting a reservation early because of the expected crowds and we had nearly decided to just eat a nice meal at home.  But, the evening before the Hallmark Card day Alex from the Carmenville Coffee Shop and Club House sent me a text describing a rather tasty menu at a cost of around P350 per person so I immediately replied to book a reservation.  It turned out to be a great decision on my part as the meal was absolutely perfect, the atmosphere elegant, and it was not crowded at all.  Alex was a genial host and even had us set up to eat with a couple that we knew and had not seen in a while and during the evening many other folks that we knew came in to eat.  The meal consisted of soup, salad, steak (a nice thick large piece), fish, vegetable, and dessert.  Priscilla complimented me on my choice of location and I was grateful that Alex took the time to send that text message.  One thing though Alex, please do not send out too many next year as I want to enjoy the same peaceful, peaceful atmosphere once again as well as the personal attention you provided to each and every diner.

The secret is out folks!  I have always wondered how in the world those lads that play the bagpipes manage to get up enough wind to sustain all that great music, now I know.  A visiting Irishman, going by the name "Ski" demonstrated his talents at various venues around town and as you can see by the one photo, when he started to run out of wind, a lady volunteer proceeded to add air through one of the vital "tubes" thereby allowing him to continue.  This procedure is usually done during short intermissions behind closed doors, which is why this secret has been kept for so long.   We thank you Ski, who by the way is a very nice vocalist as well, for sharing this secret with your many fans in Balibago.  

Adding air	Make room lads

After experiencing a few problems that saw the closure of the Illusions bar for a short while Wolf and company reopened under a new name, "Club Magic" and it appears that "Magic" indeed was appropriate for the night I checked it out, the place was packed.  Many feel that this Club was treated a bit harshly by keeping it closed for so long and then forcing a name change, especially since another Club close by escaped closure despite a major violation in the "underage employee" category.  Additionally, there were a couple of other Clubs that were closed only for a day or two and then allowed to reopen without any name changes being necessary.  UPDATE:  To my surprise I found that the name "Club Magic" was changed a few days later to "Private Dancer" and the story behind that is interesting.  I did not realize that many years ago, Wolf owned the original "Private Dancer" and when he sold the bar to Trevor the name went along with it.  As many folks know, Trevor owned Private Dancer for many years and also opened Private Dancer II.  When Trevor sold the bars, he did not sell the name and thought that he still had rights to it.  Here in the Philippines, when registering the name of an establishment one must submit three different names for approval.  One of the names submitted was "Private Dancer".  Wolf used the name "Club Magic" prior to the required approval and when the paperwork came back the approved name was "Private Dancer".  This was a surprise and when Trevor sent Des, from HoneyKo's to find out why Wolf was using the name that Trevor thought he still owned, it was found that the name must be re-registered every five years to maintain exclusive use.  Neither Trevor nor Wolf was aware of this so both parties were a bit surprised.  But the name has sentimental value to both Wolf and Trevor so there is satisfaction in seeing the name in lights again.  In addition to Trevor, it was reported to me that even Kokomo's Mo thought he had a claim to the name and that sounded a bit far-fetched but will have to ask Mo to explain as there might be an interesting aside to this name story.    

The Club business on Fields Ave. appeared to pick up a bit in January after a dismal December but there were a few glitches that tend to frustrate those owners trying to run a business and stay in compliance with City regulations.  Case in point is that the Tom Cat club was "inspected" by a City Task Force four out of six nights one week and only after the fourth visit were they able to find a "violation" in that the tops of the dancers were "see through".  This did not cause any closure but a written warning was issued. 

On 1 Feb Kokomo's had to cancel their wet T-shirt contest as management received  advice the day before that it would be better not to present this contest at all.  Mo changed it to a respectable pool party instead.  And the beat goes on -------.  Kokomos's management informed me that there was a bit of a glitch with the permits and that this has been straightened out so do not worry, this popular wet time experience will continue, in fact, the next one is scheduled for 8 Mar. 

It is not a ghost I am writing about but the Asian Spirit Airline that has initiated a three times a week air service, Clark - Manila - Boracay that should prove to be popular and can fill the gap left when Cebu-Pacific pulled out of Clark.  They are using a 19 seater aircraft offering one way flights to Manila for P600 and P4,000 to Boracay. 

An outside bar has been added with steps leading up to the second floor balcony that will allow girl watchers to relax over a few drinks without having to be inside where the loud music and crowds may cramp their style.  This addition opened on 19 Feb and the ladies I saw that were hired to look after the "outsiders" appeared to be very eye pleasing.  By the way, Gerard has informed me that this Club is up for sale for a very attractive price that could include free rent from three to five years.  Might be something worth looking into if an investor has the necessary bucks. 

The last time I talked to owner Bill he informed me that he would not reopen the Monte Carlo until the first phase of his hotel was finished.  Seems he has changed his mind and after making some interior changes to the bar will allow it to reopen mid-March with a new name, "The Bunny Ranch".  Since I will be leaving for Las Vegas, NV on 26 Feb I will miss the opening but being an old Vegas man himself, I am sure Bill was thinking of the famous "Mustang Ranch" when he came up with his new name; should be interesting.  

Some times when I feature a bar or some other business and it closes down shortly thereafter, I get the funny feeling that maybe my visit caused the establishment some bad luck.  Case in point is HT GEES bar on Don Juico Ave written up in my Feb column and closed down just a day prior to Tom finally getting the column on line.  For those of you wondering exactly what happened the following messages received from Harro are provided:

"Dear friends and HT Gees goers, admirers and knockers,
As of Wednesday the 5th of feb , Ht Gees has been permantley closed by the new Vice squad on three charges,
1) Lewd shows, (One topless girl)
2) Hiring of minors (1 Licensed girl 17y 9m) who forgot her year of birth
3) No id and health card (4 Girls have licenses being held by Brown Sugar mamasan, which we already complained to Health department)
However decision was final and it's all over. I am sorry for Shane who has worked so hard to create a decent name for the bar (Some opinions differ) but I am sure someone will pick him up quickly, good managers hard to fine,
In all thanks for the support, feedback (good and bad, and the laughs had while open, good luck to all and don't forget there are lots of great bars in AC, and lots of fun to be had, as Arnold said "I'LL BE BACK"
Harro (the once great) "

In response to my query about the rumor that some disgruntled employee went to the authorities to complain Harro replied:

"Harry,

thanks so much for your report and I am sorry it could not be benefited from (nice word), I would say 99% what you heard was a rumour as Vice squad not interested at all in Shane when they arrived, I was not there. As you know the greater bulk of our staff were related 8 from 12, the four not, cashier, bartender, and two dancers are accountable for, if it was one of the other 8, it would not make much sense as one that was topless arrested and one underage arrested, of the other six four had license's with Brown Sugar and two were getting birth certificates sent, so it would be doubtful they would bring attention to themselves.
In the past two months we have had three girls leave, none fired, one due back this week, another boyfriend arrived for three months and was in the bar every night and another working as a computer opertator and very happy.
I would say any story that involves me needs added spice, that would be how any rumour started.
Again thanks HH and you'll be the first invited to my new place "LIGHTNING JACKS" keep an eye out.
Harro 'the once great"

That is the HT Gees story.  It is closed, Harro is down, but it appears, not out!  As soon as there is something definite about his new venture "Lightning Jacks" there will be a bit of a write up in a future column. 

He's no "Dirty Harry" but he is just as dedicated in his quest to make Balibago crime free and,  like Major Ocampo before him, C'Insp. Efren Y. Miranda, Angeles City Police Office, believes in accessibility to anyone that has a legitimate complaint requiring his assistance.  He also understands the vulnerability of the expat community when by necessity or by chance there is interaction between them and policemen under his command.  Recently he has assisted in spearheading the drive to rid jeepneys of culprits involved in picking the pockets of passengers, going after drug dealers, car thieves, etc.  His demeanor is that of a quiet gentleman but his message to the violators of law and order is "Try Me" and believe me folks, this man means business.  Please note that the reappearance of PO1 DeGuzman and his motorcycle on Fields Ave was short lived.  The "Try Me" words also apply to policemen who try to take advantage of their positions when dealing with the expat community!

"Try Me"

NCS/NES

I would like to thank Mr. Goran Nordin for sending e-mail with the answer to what the titled abbreviations mean. 

"I was told that NCS/NES means No Change of Status/Non Extendable Status. My
understanding is that NES means that you cannot change from tourist to
permanent or any other type of visa. I got one of those in Manila when I
entered last Aug 18. They said it was a change in policy but could not
explain what the new policy meant. I went to Immigration on 7th Street a few
days later and they said they could extend it anyway. So I have had several
extensions so far and expect to get another today.

Goran (Nisse CC) Nordin"

This was sent to me by a friend of mine in New York, Tony Sorrentino and I thought I would share it with you - I always enjoy a good history lesson.

Shipping Manure

Exciting Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure:

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship.  It was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T," which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I...  I always thought it was a golf term

Meet Bryan Young and Bob Starr, both from British Columbia who were here in February enjoying the warm sun and the chance to recharge their batteries.  They indicated that their favorite bar was the Blue Boar Inn because of its friendliness, nice ladies, and that they could hear each other talk without yelling (that is because the bar is empty most of the time).  Honestly folks, I did not pay them to say the preceding but I may have slipped them a few drinks on the house.

Bob and Bryan

She's a "honey" and her name is "Honey) and is a nice selection for this month's manager's choice.  You can find her at the "Tom Cat club" as she dances and provides all customers with a big smile.  Single, 23 years old, no boyfriend but gained a bit of experience having a baby girl seven years ago.  We won't hold that against her, will we fellas

What a "Honey"

MEET BOB

When a lad makes the effort to meet me personally and relates that he reads my column every month, what the hell, I think he deserves to have his picture published.  Bob Scott, from New Iberia, LA, USA, did just that and informed me that his favorite bar was Misty's.  It is always great to meet tourists that love coming here and enjoy the many pleasures available in Angeles City.  

Louisiana Bob

MUSICAL TOUR

If you like a bit of music and want to do something different then I suggest you try Harry the Horse's musical tour.  I suggest starting at the Stampede on a Friday or Saturday night and enjoy the sounds of Marty and his band.  I particularly liked the saxophone blending in with the other instruments and being able to enjoy a sit-down meal to get the evening off to a good start was an added bonus.  After the Stampede head over to the Blueberry Hill located on Real Street, near the Orchid Inn and dig the tunes being sung by the "D" Brothers, Jhun and Alex Longhair.  While sitting there looking for a decent looking dancer I was entertained with oldies songs, country & western and rock and roll.  These are two talented lads that enjoy a dedicated fan club in town.  The last stop is just down the road at the Midnight Rodeo where one can enjoy hours of country and western music and, if still young enough, enjoy a dance or two.

Marty's Band	Definitely a "Long Hair"
Singing at "midnight"	From "longhair" to "shorthair"
Now that's drinking music!	We love the MR band

The Rodeo Girls

I WOULD IF I COULD

Beautiful Fe

Besides the music, another good reason to stop in at the Stampede, on any night, is to meet and talk to the beautiful Fe.  She is 21 years old, single, a bit shy, not too much, just enough to be interesting and possesses a great personality.  Stop in and say hello to this lady and if love blossoms, remember, the Horse gets invited to the wedding!

MIRRORS BAR

The Clarkton Hotel's management staff underwent a reality check recently and realized that in order to attract some customers into their bar they would have to bring back the ladies and bring in a new manager for the Mirrors lounge.  It appears that the changes are working as the patronage has increased dramatically in recent weeks and the guests of the hotel are a lot happier as well.

8 beauties & then John

A LOT OF YEARS AGO

Many years ago, way back in 1933 this classic Ford tore up the roads in the States and now, thanks to Marvin Kirsch we can now see it on the streets of Balibago.  Marvin labored for over five years, spending a hell of a lot of money, to restore his "dream car".  This was a labor of love that has created a beautiful automobile that can only be appreciated by seeing it first hand and talking to Marvin.  If you have any questions about the car contact Marvin at 33ford@sflu.com.

Marvin w/his "Baby"	A class interior

THE UPDATED TRAVEL ATLA

When Charlie Kemplin and the talented staff at United Tourist Promotions (UTP) produced the first comprehensive E-Z Map Philippines Travel Atlas sold out in no time and additional printings were required.  Over the years it has stayed popular but now requires an extensive update.  The 2^nd edition will be available by the end of April and it will be smaller in size, more handy and more user friendly.  The cost remains a very reasonable P499 and for sure, the first printing will be sold out in no time.  If you want to reserve some copies call up the UTP office and talk to Pressy or Lorena.  The Admin and Art personnel have been working their buns off to create this beauty, not to mention the many miles Charlie put on his car gathering all the necessary information.  The staff were more than happy to pose with their "baby" to give you an advance showing of what will be hitting the stands in the very near future.  Well done Ariel, Pressy, Lorena, Rodel and Rene!

Proud UTP Staff

MORE ROOMS

The MOtel at Kokomo's now has 6 rooms open. Word is that they are running at nearly 100% occupancy. Mo said construction on 4 more would start next week. There were some early complaints about the noise level in the Santos Street rooms, but some additional soundproofing seems to have taken care of that problem.  In addition to Mo's ongoing construction the building of the new Hotel just down the road from Kokomos is going up quite quickly.  I have heard that the Korean, Mr. Park will be catering to groups of Koreans being flown in by Charter aircraft.  Should be interesting.             

IS ANYONE CONFUSED?.

Talk about confusion. It seems that the licensing process has become a bit of a political hot potato. When several bars got closed down for employing under age girls WITH LICENSES, different organizations started pointing fingers at each other. A lot of hasty moves were made to try to remedy the situation (read that to mean pass the buck). Right now, if anyone in the licensing process even thinks a girl is not 18, she won't get a license. We'll see if they can make it work.

PARKING WOES

Talk about a fiasco. The City has banned parking on the South side of Fields Avenue. The reason "To help eliminate any possible terrorist activities." So, now everyone is parking on the North side. Plus there are now vendors galore. Park on the South side and the great local law enforcers are there removing your license plates. Park across the street and it's just fine. And what ever happened to making Fields Ave a walking street?  

Sorry folks, I generally avoid passing on to the readers of my column long bits of information forwarded to me via the internet, but as I prepare for my trip to the States on 26 Feb I find myself a bit apprehensive about the possible war with Iraq and the consequences.  I said apprehensive, not fear so any information that will assist me in staying calm under adverse conditions is most welcome.  With this in mind, I decided to share the following with you as it does have worldwide applications

A Soldier's Viewpoint on Surviving Nuclear, Chemical and Biological Attacks
From: SFC Red Thomas (Ret)
Armor Master Gunner
Mesa, AZ

Unlimited reproduction and distribution is authorized. Just give me credit for my work, and, keep in context.

Since the media has decided to scare everyone with predictions of chemical, biological, or nuclear warfare on our turf I decided to write a paper and keep things in their proper perspective. I am a retired military weapons, munitions, and training expert.

Lesson number one: In the mid 1990s there were a series of nerve gas attacks on crowded Japanese subway stations. Given perfect conditions for an attack less than 10% of the people there were injured (the injured were better in a few hours) and only one percent of the injured died.

60 Minutes once had a fellow telling us that one drop of nerve gas could kill a thousand people, well he didn't tell you the thousand dead people per drop was theoretical. Drill Sergeants exaggerate how terrible this stuff was to keep the recruits awake in class (I know this because I was a Drill Sergeant too). Forget everything you've ever seen on TV, in the movies, or read in a novel about this stuff, it was
all a lie (read this sentence again out loud!). These weapons are about terror, if you remain calm, you will probably not die. This is far less scary than the media and their "Experts," make it sound.

Chemical Weapons

Chemical weapons are categorized as nerve, blood, blister, and Incapacitating agents.
Contrary to the hype of reporters and politicians they are not weapons of mass destruction they are "area denial," and terror weapons that don't destroy anything. When you leave the area you almost always leave the risk.  That's the difference; you can leave the area and the risk but soldiers may have to stay put and sit through it and that's why they need all that spiffy gear.

These are not gasses; they are vapors and/or air borne particles. The agent must be delivered in sufficient quantity to kill/injure, and that defines when/how it's used. Every day we have a morning and evening inversion where "stuff," suspended in the air gets pushed down. This inversion is why allergies (pollen) and air pollution are worst at these times of the day.

So, a chemical attack will have the best effect an hour of so either side of sunrise/sunset. Also, being vapors and airborne particles they are heavier than air so they will seek low places like ditches, basements and underground garages. This stuff won't work when it's freezing, it doesn't last when it's hot, and wind spreads it too thin too fast.
They've got to get this stuff on you, or, get you to inhale it for it to work. They also have to get the concentration of chemicals high enough to kill or wound you. Too little and it's nothing, too much and it's wasted.

What I hope you've gathered by this point is that a chemical weapons attack that kills a lot of people is incredibly hard to do with military grade agents and equipment so you can imagine how hard it will be for terrorists. The more you know about this stuff the more you realize how hard it is to use.

We'll start by talking about nerve agents. You have these in your house, plain old bug killer (like Raid) is nerve agent.  All nerve agents work the same way; they are cholinesterase inhibitors that mess up the signals your nervous system uses to make your body function. It can harm you if you get it on your skin but it works best if they can get you to inhale it. If you don't die in the first minute and you can leave the area you're probably gonna live. The military's antidote for all nerve agents is atropine and pralidoxime chloride. Neither one of these does anything to cure the nerve agent, they send your body into overdrive to keep you alive for five minutes, after that the agent is used up. Your best protection is fresh air and staying calm.

Listed below are the symptoms for nerve agent poisoning:

Sudden headache, Dimness of vision (someone you're looking at will have pinpointed pupils), runny nose, excessive saliva or drooling, difficulty breathing, tightness in chest, nausea, stomach cramps, twitching of exposed skin where a liquid just got on you.

If you are in public and you start experiencing these symptoms, first ask yourself, did anything out of the ordinary just happen, a loud pop, did someone spray something on the crowd? Are other people getting sick too? Is there an odor of new mown hay, green corn, something fruity, or camphor where it shouldn't be? If the answer is yes, then calmly (if you panic you breathe faster and inhale more air/poison) leave the area and head up wind, or, outside.

Fresh air is the best "right now antidote." If you have a blob of liquid that looks like molasses or Kayro syrup on you; blot it or scrape it off and away from yourself with anything disposable. This stuff works based on your body weight, what a crop duster uses to kill bugs won't hurt you unless you stand there and breathe it in real deep, then lick the residue off the ground for a while. Remember they have to do all the work, they have to get the concentration up and keep it up for several minutes while all you have to do is quit getting it on you/quit breathing it by putting space between you and the attack.

Blood agents are cyanide or arsine which effect your blood's ability to provide oxygen to your tissue. The scenario for attack would be the same as nerve agent. Look for a pop or someone splashing/spraying something and folks around there getting woozy/falling down. The telltale smells are bitter almonds or garlic where it shouldn't be. The symptoms are blue lips, blue under the fingernails rapid breathing.

The military's antidote is amyl nitride and just like nerve agent antidote it just keeps your body working for five minutes till the toxins are used up. Fresh air is the your best individual chance.

Blister agents (distilled mustard) are so nasty that nobody wants to even handle it let alone use it. It's almost impossible to handle safely and may have delayed effect of up to 12 hours. The attack scenario is also limited to the things you'd see from other chemicals. If you do get large, painful blisters for no apparent reason, don't pop them, if you must, don't let the liquid from the blister get on any other area, the stuff just keeps on spreading. It's just as likely to harm the user as the target. Soap, water, sunshine, and fresh air are this stuff's enemy.

Bottom line on chemical weapons (it's the same if they use industrial chemical spills); they are intended to make you panic, to terrorize you, to heard you like sheep to the wolves. If there is an attack, leave the area and go upwind, or to the sides of the wind stream. They have to get the stuff to you, and on you. You're more likely to be hurt by a drunk driver on any given day than be hurt by one of these attacks. Your odds get better if you leave the area. Soap, water, time, and fresh air really deal this stuff a knock-out-punch. Don't let fear of an isolated attack rule your life. The odds are really on your side.

Nuclear Weapons

Nuclear bombs. These are the only weapons of mass destruction on earth. The effects of a nuclear bomb are heat, blast, EMP, and radiation. If you see a bright flash of light like the sun, where the sun isn't, fall to the ground! The heat will be over a second. Then there will be two blast waves, one out going, and one on it's way back. Don't stand up to see what happened after the first wave; anything that's going to happen will have happened in two full minutes.

These will be low yield devices and will not level whole cities. If you live through the heat, blast, and initial burst of radiation, you'll probably live for a very, very long time. Radiation will not create fifty foot tall women, or giant ants and grass hoppers the size of tanks. These will be at the most 1 kiloton bombs; that's the equivalent of 1,000 tons of TNT.  Here's the real deal, flying debris and radiation will kill a lot of exposed (not all!) people within a half mile of the blast.
Under perfect conditions this is about a half mile circle of death and destruction, but, when it's done it's done. EMP stands for Electro Magnetic Pulse and it will fry every electronic device for a good distance, it's impossible to say what and how far but probably not over a couple of miles from ground zero is a good guess.  Cars, cell phones, computers, ATMs, you name it, all will be out of order.

There are lots of kinds of radiation, you only need to worry about three, the others you have lived with for years. You need to worry about "Ionizing radiation," these are little sub atomic particles that go whizzing along at the speed of light. They hit individual cells in your body, kill the nucleus and keep on going.  That's how you get radiation poisoning, you have so many dead cells in your body that the decaying cells poison you.
It's the same as people getting radiation treatments for cancer, only a bigger area gets radiated. The good news is you don't have to just sit there and take it, and there's lots you can do rather than panic. First; your skin will stop alpha particles, a page of a news paper or your clothing will stop beta particles, you just gotta try and avoid inhaling dust that's contaminated with atoms that are emitting these things and you'll be generally safe from them.

Gamma rays are particles that travel like rays (quantum physics makes my brain hurt) and they create the same damage as alpha and beta particles only they keep going and kill lots of cells as they go all the way through your body.  It takes a lot to stop these things, lots of dense material, on the other hand it takes a lot of this to kill you.

Your defense is as always to not panic. Basic hygiene and normal preparation are your friends. All canned or frozen food is safe to eat. The radiation poisoning will not effect plants so fruits and vegetables are OK if there's no dust on em (rinse em off if there is). If you don't have running water and you need to collect rain water or use water from wherever, just let it sit for thirty minutes and skim off the water gently from the top. The dust with the bad stuff in it will settle and the remaining water can be used for the toilet which will still work if you have a bucket of water to pour in the tank.

Biological Weapons

Finally there's biological warfare. There's not much to cover here. Basic personal hygiene and sanitation will take you further than a million doctors. Wash your hands often, don't share drinks, food, sloppy kisses, etc., with strangers.  Keep your garbage can with a tight lid on it, don't have standing water (like old buckets, ditches, or kiddie pools) laying around to allow mosquitoes breeding room. This stuff is carried by vectors, that is bugs, rodents, and contaminated material. If biological warfare is so easy as the TV makes it sound, why has Saddam Hussein spent twenty years, millions, and millions of dollars trying to get it right? If you're clean of person and home you eat well and are active you're gonna live.

Overall preparation for any terrorist attack is the same as you'd take for a big storm. If you want a gas mask, fine, go get one. I know this stuff and I'm not getting one and I told my Mom not to bother with one either (how's that for confidence). We have a week's worth of cash, several days worth of canned goods and plenty of soap and water. We don't leave stuff out to attract bugs or rodents so we don't have them.

These people can't conceive a nation this big with this much resources. These weapons are made to cause panic, terror, and to demoralize. If we don't run around like sheep they won't use this stuff after they find out it's no fun. The government is going nuts over this stuff because they have to protect every inch of America. You've only gotta protect yourself, and by doing that, you help the country.

Finally, there are millions of caveats to everything I wrote here and you can think up specific scenarios where my advice isn't the best. This letter is supposed to help the greatest number of people under the greatest number of situations. If you don't like my work, don't nit pick, just sit down and explain chemical, nuclear, and biological warfare in a document around three pages long yourself. This is how we the people of the United States can rob these people of their most desired goal, your terror.

SFC Red Thomas (Ret)
Armor Master Gunner
Mesa, AZ

HOT AIR BALLOON FESTIVAL

I thought it would be nice to include a few pictures of the Balloon Festival that was held in early February.  This is an annual event that draws balloonists from various parts of the world.  This year there were eight entries and those from out of country received free shipping of their gear courtesy of UPS.  On the opening morning thousands gathered at 0530 to be ready for the lift-off at 0600.  Of course, Richard Gordon did not get up early enough to keep to schedule so the crowd waited until a bit after 0700 for things to get off the ground.  There were various events scheduled during the three day festival to keep folks at the grounds during the day.  Being averse to rising before the sun rises I waited until the last day, a few hours before dusk before I ventured out to get these pictures.  It appears that the most popular event was kite flying and I nearly got choked a dozen times by not seeing various lines of string as I walked about.  It was a nice change from the daily fare offered in town and I surely recommend that you try to arrange your visits for Feb 2004 in order to enjoy this rather exciting event and the great weather to boot! 

Getting ready for flight

Filled up - ready to go	What balloons?

One cashier - four auditors!

I'M OUTTA OF HERE

In a few more days I must put my calesa in storage for a month and gallop to the Airport to catch my flight to Las Vegas via Northwest, the Airlines that employs all those grandmotherly flight attendants.  One look at them and it does inspire me to pop a couple of sleeping pills and try to forget my cramped economy class seat.  I wonder when I will ever be able to get an upgrade?  I regret that I will not be able to put out an April column as I do not return until 24 March and folks, six days just isn't long enough.  For sure, I will be back as usual in May.  Until then, be kind to horses, OK!