JUNE 2001

Surprise - surprise, this month I am a bit early because computer man Tom is flying out to the States on 25 May and I am lost without him. Since he is not returning until the end of June I am forewarning you that the July issue will be late. That evens out to where both months come out on time! Can I get away with that?

HOT NEWS

Last month I wrote up Roy's Pub and May's Filly of the Month worked there. I was looking forward to enjoying a few lunches there but sadly, a fire has forced the closure of Roy's as well as the adjoining Million Dollar Lodge and the Drop Inn. The fire started at the Drop Inn when a German guest returned home from a night on the town and lit a cigarette but then left it unattended as he went to the bathroom down the hall. While sitting, quite comfortably in the bathroom, he passed out and never did wake up, as he became the only fatality of the fire. Sadly, the entire roof of Roy's Pub was burned away with smoke damage spreading to the downstairs area. Roy's Pub has a long history from the years in Manila and then the move to Angeles City where Roy himself continued a tradition of fine food and rousing stories. After Roy's death Clive kept the tradition alive and the pub continued to be a quiet, pleasant get-a-way for those devoted patrons seeking a break from Fields Avenue. The good news is that Clive has told me that extensive repairs are being made and that he expects to be reopened sometime in early June. This horse will be on hand for the opening celebrations and will feature a few pictures in the July issue.

CHEAP ROOMS UP IN FLAMES	ROY'S PUB - DOWN BUT NOT OUT - LOOK FOR JUNE OPENING

RODNEY GETS THE "CHAIR"

A top-notch comedian/magician put on a great show at the Swagman Narra Hotel in Angeles City last May 5th. Many times a performer starts out in venues in the early years of his/her career before they hit the big time and then seldom get back to those places once they are well established. The opportunity came to Phil Cass, a top Australian performer who has performed in Las Vegas to return to the Swagman fifteen years after he first appeared here. Well over a hundred patrons enjoyed a fine show and a three-course dinner at a very reasonable price. The audience enjoyed the many laughs and was completely bowled over by the magical dexterity of Phil. The highlight of the evening was when Mr. Cass got Rodney Haggerty on stage and had him sit in the "electric chair". As Phil was doing his routine and asking Rodney questions, Rod would suddenly bolt out of the chair with a speed seldom seen and the look on his face as he rubbed his butt had the audience in stitches. This happened at least five times and if it were up to the audience, would have continued for a lot longer than it did. For the rest of the evening, Rodney was hesitant to sit anywhere. It was a fun evening and all in attendance agreed that more of this type of first class entertainment is needed in Angeles City. Special thanks goes out to the Swagman management and to Phil Cass for donating part of the evening's proceeds to the Rotary Club of Clark Centennial for its Street Children's Center.

PAY ATTENTION RODNEY	HEY - THAT WAS A BIT SHOCKING

TIME TO CHANGE THE GUARD?

One of the selling points to living in the Oasis Hotel's compound is that it is safe and secure. It certainly appears to be as only one gate is open to traffic and a guard is on hand to record all entries and departures of vehicles. The many ex-pats that live in the houses and apartments are long term residents that stayed on, despite the big jumps in rent, because of the convenient location and security. It appears though, as the rents go up 10-20 percent a year the security seems to nosedive in the opposite direction. Mr. Ken Speiran, a six-year resident of apt. 47 report that when he drove home at 10 PM one night in April, he waved to the guard on the gate who was supposed to note his entry. He parked the vehicle in front of his apartment, went in and called it a night. When he woke up the next day he found that his 95 KIA had been stolen and that the theft had to occur between the hours of 10:30 to 11 PM as a neighbor who arrived after Ken went to bed parked his vehicle in the spot that Ken's KIA had occupied. The gate guard, of course, saw nothing so maybe a magician with the talent of a Phil Cass, walked into the compound and just made the vehicle disappear. A few months earlier one of the houses in the compound was broken into and robbed as well. Could it be time for a changing of the guard?

COMFORTABLE GATE HOUSE FOR ALERT (?) SECURITY GUARDS

GOOD IDEA FIZZLES

San Miguel Beer folks had a good idea. Have a street party on Fields Ave with bands and get the various bars involved with beer at a low price and food stands. The theme was "Tribute to our Guests", meaning the military folks that were here for the Balikatan exercise. Fields Ave was closed to traffic from Illusions Bar East to McArthur. The problem was that most of the troops packed up and left on the 10th of May and this party was held on the evening of the 11th. To make matters worse, it rained as well which kind of dampened the atmosphere. This was a party that fizzled but it was a good idea. It reminded many of us that a couple of years ago the Mayor's office was seriously considering closing Fields Ave to traffic but of course, nothing came of it. At least, on 11 May, we had a taste of what could have been. Maybe after the elections, this subject could be brought up again. 

DMZ BAR - A BOLD LOOK

The DMZ bar on Fields Ave has become more popular since it was renovated. With the bar in the middle and two pool tables at the end it has become a nice place to stop in and watch the very energetic dancers. During the recent military exercise the Marine contingent enjoyed visiting the DMZ with its Marine memorabilia displayed on the walls. The dancers are not as plentiful as in some of the bigger bars in town but they do look good and can be quite revealing in their efforts to please the customers. It is good to see some ladies with very positive attitudes and nice friendly smiles. They provide "mounds" of entertainment. 

A FOOT LONG TREAT

Mark & Donald's sandwich shop has moved from Balibago to 664 Don Juico St., just a bit past the Villa Sol entrance. This is an eatery I always enjoyed going to as I always ordered their popular foot long Italian sub. Would you believe that this delectable delight only cost P60! They have other menu items that are low cost as well to include an American breakfast at P70. I have suggested that they add an Aussie breakfast as well. They are open from 10 AM to midnight, 7 days a week and there is plenty of room to park. The location is more convenient than before and one encounters less noise and pollution. If you want a good bargain, give Mark & Donald a try.

NEW LOOK AND NEW LOCATION	MY FAVORITE AND IT'S AS GOOD AS IT LOOKS

LOOKING FOR TICKETS?

Bruce McTavish's International Travel Office has a great reputation for helping folks with their travel plans and getting their tickets to them but of course this is all done during normal office hours. A number of local lads must have been very anxious to do business at the office but could not wait to get in so decided to enter through the hole left by the air-conditioner after they pushed it in at around 4 AM in the morning. Naturally they did a bit of damage to the place and after getting over their surprise that the place was empty of people, decided to remove some objects that they might sell in order to raise money for their projected trip. Now, Bruce does have a bit of influence in town, so much so that if anyone could get help from a police force that normally could care less, it would be Bruce. According to McTavish, the case has been solved and the culprits have been given free tickets to an alternate location. 

SPLITTING UP

A while ago a couple split up in a most dramatic way. One of the safest places to drive in this country is on the beautiful roads maintained at the Clark Special Economic Zone (CSEZ) featuring straight, wide roads, enforcement of traffic regulations, traffic lights that work and very little traffic. One would think that fatal accidents would not take place under such safe conditions but wait, never let it be said that Filipino drivers, used to violating every traffic regulation imaginable, would not find a way to make a "splash" at the CSEZ. Pictured here is a picture of a car accident that neatly split this late model car in half and resulted in the death of a young couple. This took place at an early hour when there was no other traffic on the base, yet this driver managed to kill himself and his companion. Dear readers, observe, learn and be careful when driving. In many instances accidents can't be avoided because of the other guy, but there is no reason to kill yourself because of your own carelessness or disregard of traffic regulations. 

THEY WON'T BE REBUILDING THIS ONE.

IS THERE ANY HOPE?

Is there any hope that the bridge pictured here will ever head anywhere worth traveling to and will the incomplete overpass ever be completed? These are monuments to projects started and never completed at the Clark Economic Zone. The bridge, at the far end of the base, past the defunct Expo is a fun place to drive and look at. It just leads you to nowhere worth going to. The incomplete flyover that was supposed to take visitors from the expressway to the base was never completed because of corruption but it is fun to drive up the nice roads on the CSEZ going past the OMNI aviation complex. These structures stand as testimony as to what could have been if politicians were serious about developing the CSEZ. Instead, they, along with the EXPO site continue to stand as monuments to corruption and failure. Will anything be different after the May elections? I doubt it!

NICE BRIDGE - VERY LITTLE TRAFFIC	A CDC PROJECT ROTTING AWAY

SPEAKING OF BRIDGES

After a couple of failed attempts the Hensonville bridge was finally completed and it is a beauty. Most certainly, its completion has eased the traffic congestion heading for the Abacan bridge. Can we dare hope for a safe, decent bridge at Friendship now?

GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE - WE HOPE!!

TXTGMA

Do you want to sent the Philippine President a text message giving suggestions on how to run the government, or to praise/criticize her performance? No problem, there is a service provided by the Office of the President of the Philippines and SMART Communications that allows you to keep in touch with Gloria. The following three dedicated numbers are provided: 0919-8984621 (0919-TXTGMA1), 0919-8984622/23 (0919-TXTGMA2/3). She is married so no love messages please.

ANOTHER DEAL

Heard it through the grapevine that the same person who has supposedly leased the Galleon building, Cleopatra Bar through Robert Sullivan has now negotiated to take over Thunderball/Thunderstruck bars previously owned by the late John Hammer. Haven't confirmed the details yet but it sounds interesting. Supposedly, half of the building will be turned into an Internet center and the other will maintain the existing bar; just what we need, another Internet site! Meanwhile, the Galleon still looks the same so I guess our Las Vegas investor is waiting for a big night at the craps table. In order to dispel rumors about Cleopatra bar I can report that it remains a "done deal". Amazing, they paid the price for an open and running bar then give up the entire staff and spend another $100,000 to renovate.

SLICK MOVE

A good way to get your rent lowered is to do what the owner of the Bird Cage did. He told the landlord he was taking all his staff to Ziggy's bar and rather than lose a good tenant, the landlord cut the rent in half. There never was any intent to move anybody to Ziggys but it worked!

MAD DOGS IN ACTION

The members of the Manila based Mad Dog Motorcycle do not just ride their big Harley's on joy trips, but stop long enough to assist in civic action projects. Presently, they are busy each weekend helping to make repairs, painting and building additional space for an orphanage located in Hensonville. They do this without any intention of getting publicity but this Horse feels that they deserve a mention and wish them well in any further community endeavors they decide to undertake. The Mad Dogs are a close- knit group of great folks that love the open road and the chance to help others in need. We don't know "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT" but lets hope they stay out and keep coming to Angeles City. 

THE "DOGS" ARE OUT AND ON THE MOVE

A MAN OF INFLUENCE

It is said that if you want to know what is going on at Greenlands talk to John Nichols. It appears that this man has an enormous amount of influence with the owner, Greg. Whatever he wants, suggests or recommends he gets because Greg not only listens to him but also goes along with everything he says. No other staff member at Greenlands comes close to this degree of input, to include General Manager, Mr. Bolton. The good news about Greenlands is that you no longer have to tip the waitresses as Greg has slipped in a 10% service charge for services rendered. 

EMERGENCY DUMP

There are some things that are too important to overlook when out on the town, especially after a big meal. One night the topic came up as to the top five locations on Fields Ave to find, in case of an emergency, a bathroom for that all-important dump. Consideration was given to lighting, comfort, cleanliness, availability of toilet paper and degree of privacy (must provide your own literature). After surveying a cross section of the local ex-pat community with this most scientific study it was decided that the top five were: Nero's, Emotions (previously known as Music City), Valentines, Roadhouse and Confetti's. This is an area never mentioned in travel brochures despite its importance. Any reader who has been in Angeles City and would like to mention some bathrooms deserving to be on this list, feel free to contact Harry the Horse at lacasa@netasia-angeles.net.

Confetti's Major dumping ground.

TRUE STORY

Another true story that is unique to Angeles City. A tourist passed on his experience with a very loving young lady that he was happy to have as an overnight guest. During the ensuing amorous movements, while the lady was positioned on top in a sitting position, her cell phone beeped. Without missing a beat, she was able to read her text message and send out an answer. Needless to say, it made the subject underneath wonder how interested she really was in what was going on. This demonstrates how the cell phone has become an appendage to one's hand. You can see people coming down with the "twitching thumb" syndrome when a cell phone is not in their hand. Some ladies here are so talented that they can look you in the eye while you are talking to them and still be able to send out a text message without looking at the cell phone. Pretty soon people will not talk to each other, they will just text, even if they are sitting in the same room to the person they are communicating with. 

NEW HANDLERS FOR THE COCKATOO BAR

New owners are to take over the Cockatoo bar on 24 May. No immediate changes are planned for the first few months but you can expect to see improvements prior to the end of the year. Rights were obtained for $20,000 to include a 5-year lease with a reasonable rental. This was a good deal for the location is ideal with a very favorable business potential. 

TWO YEARS OF THIGHS

The Thi-High bar on Perimeter road, next to the Hang Out is having their 2nd year anniversary celebration on Saturday, 9 Jun. For two years some beautiful ladies have been looking good in their sexy dresses with garter belts and stockings and those of us from the 50's remember when all the ladies dressed like this. It sure was more fun necking back then and trying to get past the stocking tops. Then along came panty hose, some things should never be invented!

THE DOC RESPONDS

In previous articles I have mentioned the proposed building of the Health Visions Hospital on Don Juico and that it has been held up because of legal problems with some tenants that do not wish to vacate their premises. One of the parties is Dr. DeGuzman who has provided medical care to this community for many years. Upon talking to Health Care representatives it was alleged that the delay in construction was attributable to Dr. DeGuzman even though his lease was due to expire. In response, Dr. DeGuzman has responded to me via e-mail with some very interesting words that sheds some light on this conflict. Following are some excerpts from this referenced e-mail to Harry the Horse:
"I just want to clarify things first, I'm not connected with Cybercare or any health insurance/health provider."
"Second, I'm not a hold-out in this "dilapidated" building. My contract will expire in year 2003, as my lawyers were able to show the court. My contract is valid and legal. Only those who are presumptuous enough but not necessarily stupid will think that I don't have a contract after renovating the building, occupying and paying rent religiously for 14 years, plus one big earthquake and one grand eruption of a not-so-small volcano and you know the status of business for 3 years after that. The other occupants, I have known them for a long time, but I cannot speak for them. I will not try to influence their decisions either."
"If the question is "why am I trying to hold on to the clinic building?" well, I'll mention a few reasons why I have to fight it out:
1. The clinic is my only source of income. It provides me and my family, the food that we eat, the clothes that we wear, the shelter that we stay in and the tuition money that sends 4 guys to college, 9 guys to high school and 4 in the elementary. 
2. I have a valid contract-of-lease until the year 2003. My lawyers presented the contract to the court; we presented the witnesses and signatories to the contract to remove any doubt to its authenticity. The receipts of monthly rentals from 1988 were also presented to the court. 
3. This group tried a couple of times to convince me to join their noble company. They say I'll be rich. I like that but I have to say no when one of them told me "SOMETIMES YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE THE PATIENT, JUST SIGN HIS FORM". I will not lie for anybody, and that's also clinic policy." 
(Editor's note: Number three bothers me as I have always hoped that Health Visions is running an honest operation but this clouds the issue a bit)
"Well, you know how much a good decent medical insurance can cost now-a-days, not to mention if the medical insurance is for a good horse with a good racetrack record like you. I know that most of the guys who work for this group are decent and honest people, who have the best intentions for the vets, expats and the community, but I hope we will not wake up one morning feeling short-changed so, I'm just asking, no matter what the good deeds and good intentions there is, hundreds of millions in investment money for infrastructure, equipments and lab machines alone, not to mention SEC registrations and fees, HOW WILL THEIR COMPANY RECOVER THEIR INVESTMENT? HOW MANY PATIENTS ARE THERE TO BE COVERED? WHAT % OF THIS GROUP THAT WILL BE SICK AT ONE TIME? MY SMALL-TIME BROKER IS NOT CONVINCED. IPO? OUT OF THE QUESTION? GRANDIOSE THINGS CAME AND WENT OUT OF ANGELES CITY, EVEN PYRAMID SCHEMES OR RATHER SCAMS? I WISH NOT SO MANY WILL BE HURT OR ANGRY WHEN I ASK CONFLICT-OF-INTEREST? PLS. CORRECT ME IF I'm WRONG WITH REGARDS TO HORSES, YOU ARE THE EXPERT!!! ONE CANNOT OWN AND OPERATE A RACETRACK IF HE OWNS HORSES THAT WILL RUN IT ITS RACES!!!"

"Until here and again, kudos to the one and only fiscalizer horse in town.....I remain......
Respectfully, 
Doc andoy"

That was a long read and I am passing it on as Health Visions is an important entity in this town for the ex-pats (American military retirees) living here and for those planning to take up residence in the future. Dr. DeGuzman is a respected man in this area and his comments raise a few questions that should be answered by Mr. John Jones himself. Regretfully, trying to get any straight answers out of Health Visions Representatives is nearly impossible as they profess to know very little. Maybe some day I will receive an E-mail from Mr. Jones that would be as straightforward and honest as Doctor DeGuzman's. Health Visions, the ball is in your court now!

A GREAT GET AWAY

As great as Angeles City is one still needs to get away to a different environment once in a while. Recently I traveled to Subic Bay, the Base (SBMA) to spend the weekend. My main objective was to visit a friend that has cancer but we are optimistic that possible treatment in the States will allow him to return to the Philippines in good health. With that visit completed we made reservations at the Crown Peak Hotel (P1500 a night) and yes, I was with my wife Priscilla, brother-in-law and his son. You didn't think for one minute that the "Horse" would leave Priscilla behind did you (well, maybe the next time - Hah! I have to be careful, Priscilla reads this). Anyway, what a fantastic weekend we had. We were able to shop at the Free Port and also eat dinner at the Steak House and then make it over to see Swagman's Rod Haggerty and his boat. Now folks, if Rodney ever invites you to meet him dockside, get the instructions on how to get there from me, not Rod. Rod tells you to enter the gate, turn left and that is it! He fails to tell you after turning left, you have to go left again, then right, then another right, another left, another right, etc. until you get to the boat's location. After three attempts we could not find it until Rod met us at the gate on his motorcycle, and led us through the maze. The Crown Peak was a comfortable stay and after a night swim we retired for the evening. The next day we were kept busy by visiting various sites such as the Bat Kingdom where thousands of retired vampires can be seen hanging from the trees just waiting for dusk to arrive so they can fly off to blood sucking gourmet dinners. We took a drive to look at the Cubi Hospital where in 1992 I had an operation on my herniated belly button. Looks pretty much the same after all these years. We then stopped at the trail leading to Baton Falls. The sign indicated that the Falls were 500 meters downhill from the start of the trail. This old horse with a bad back and knee decided that it was time for adventure. I got halfway down to where the trail became quite steep and there were no longer any steps or posts to hold on to. I turned around and looked at the very steep climb back and decided I had gone far enough. Lucky for me my Priscilla's brother was with me and wisely stayed behind me as I STRUGGLED back to the top, with him having to give my back a steady push once in a while. For sure, this is a trail that would be fun for anyone, and pictures of the fall indicate a great picture taking opportunity. If I try it again, I will make sure all of Priscilla's brothers are on hand to help carry me back up the hill. I will make sure we have rope, water, long pants, proper shoes and possibly a stretcher for me. After this bit of exercise, food was on my mind and we headed for Magellan's Galleon & Marine Inc. and Vasco's Restaurant. Here I must stop, as I was so impressed with this eatery and its location that I must write a separate paragraph on it. 

THE FANTASTIC VASCO'S RESTAURANT

If you are at the SBMA, DO NOT passes up this eatery. What a wonderful place. Australian Brian Homan who is one of the most interesting Ex-pats I have had the opportunity to meet in recent years runs it. He is a diver, treasure hunter, teacher, bird trainer, and just an all around nice guy. He left home (Sydney, Australia) at 16 with $15 in his pocket and has made his fortune through sheer hard work and daring initiative. His Vasco's restaurant is an open-air establishment sitting dockside and the view is fantastic. The food is great and it is just pure pleasure to sit and relax after a day of touring the SBMA and Cubi. I was fascinated by the Cockatoos that are quite tame and are let loose in the afternoon to have the run of the bar. Brian has a 25-year lease on his location and plans to open a museum to display the many artifacts he has retrieved from sunken ships. He makes and sells custom made wet suits and plans to build a character building college on his site. At the bar he has two seats from the FEDEX plane that went off the runway at Subic last year. There is just too much to cover about Brian and Vasco, all I can say is that I plan to return and spend much of a day there with time for a little swimming as well. Brian told me that tourists do not stop there but he has a steady trade from the workers at Cubi, the FEDEX pilots and ex-pats in the know. For sure, tourists are missing out on a great experience and for the readers of this column I give Vasco's a 10 horseshoe rating and a recommendation to all tourists heading for Subic, drive towards Cubi, look for Magellan's Galleon & Marine Inc., turn in, park, sit down at Vasco's and be prepared to have a day you can write home about. 

KALBO RETURNS

Kalbo, the owner of Birds of Paradise and long time fanatical Hasher has returned to his home nest after a long absence. We are happy to announce that he is hosting a fun darts night every Monday evening starting at 6:30 PM and every Thursday night, the venue is at the Blue Boar Inn. For over a year now, the only place to play darts was at the Blue Boar Inn and four ex-pat players were regulars in their attempt to keep this sport alive in Balibago. It is wonderful to add another establishment to the darts scene and it will remain so until Kalbo takes off for an extended leave again. Welcome back Kalbo!

PREDICTIONS

Let me be bold and make two predictions based on tossing up a couple of horseshoes in the air and using my secret way of reading the signs after their fall to the earth. One, continued political problems for President Gloria after the elections with major unrest adversely affecting the stability of the government. Two, sometime during the rainy season, the Friendship Bridge will collapse. 

Hey, this brings me to the end of this column and I have finished it on 23 May - how bout that! Now I can pass it on to Tom and he can put it out on 1 Jun from his vacation location in the States. By the way, Tom and company have jumped into the bar business by taking over the Cockatoo Bar across the street from Kokomos. Sure hope this works out OK for him but now he can experience, first hand, the many problems encountered with bar ownership. Remember Tom, when this Horse comes in for a drink - BE KIND TO HORSES.